Dear President Trump,
What the fuck are you doing? The world needs another war like they it needs a fucken hole in the head.
All this posturing and "fire and fury" stuff is not impressing anyone. But I suppose since you have puffed your chest out you better carry it out. Or will you? How's that fence coming along, by the way?
I used to watch The Apprentice. I actually quite enjoyed it. Bill and Kwame fighting it out in Season 1. (Also, who could forget Omarosa?)
Sean winning Season 5 while charming all of the ladies with his British accent.
Stefanie winning Season 6 in LA. (I quite liked the idea of the people outside in tents while everyone else was inside in relative luxury.)
I must admit, and I will be fair here, you came across as quite a decent bloke. (That's British slang for man, just in case you didn't know) You were tough when you needed to be but also came across as quite compassionate and that was nice to see.
So, what is with all this fire and brimstone bullshit?
Was that how you acted when The Apprentice cameras were turned off? Unfortunately that kind of thing doesn't work when you are the leader of the free world.
I want you to watch this clip from The American President. Listen carefully to what Michael J.Fox says.
I know this is a movie and has nothing to do with real life but Michael J. Fox's words are very relevant to you.
"I'm a citizen, this is my President. And in this country it is not only permissible to question our leaders, it's our responsibility."
Remember that DJ. You can't run the country like you would run Trump Organisation. You are working for the people, not the other way around. So, if they question you, as Fox says, it is their responsibility. You are not the dictator anymore. You can't go around firing everyone just because they don't agree with your twisted sense of the world.
If you attack North Korea, there will be hell to pay so don't fucken do it. Why can't you be remembered as the President who turned the economy around or the President who took unemployment rates to an all-time low? That would be good, wouldn't it?
Oh no! Might as well attack a country that's fucked already. It's easier to push a few buttons. Yell some scary words and scare everyone.
What a man!
Don't do it DJ. Don't do it.
Dear Marshal Kim Jong-Un,
You are a fucken cunt too. Don't think you are getting off with a free pass here. No siree.
First of all lets start with the obvious question. How do you get off going to bed at night knowing that millions of people in your country don't have enough food to eat? Can you answer me that?
It's pretty obvious that you haven't missed out on a meal for awhile.
So, you can sleep well knowing that people are starving? That sounds like the definition of asshole in my book.
You rule by fear right. You install fear in the citizens of your country and you are fearful of them, right? You are scared, because you know that you are going to be hung, drawn and quartered if anyone gets their hands on you.
I'm sure that you are pissed off that I have the audacity to write this open letter. But this is how it works in a democracy. You probably don't understand that even though the official name for your country has the word Democratic in it.
DEMOCRATIC!?!?!?!?!? What the fuck?!?!?!?!?! Your country is about as democratic as the Vatican is tolerant to homosexual marriage.
Have a look at this video. I'm sure you like movies. Your father did and you are probably the only one in your country who is allowed to watch them. Aren't you so lucky?
What would happen if one of your aides talked to you like that? Would you accept their advice or would you feed them to the dogs? (Is that true by the way? I can't imagine anyone being so fucken ruthless. Although I wouldn't put it past you.)
Don't even think about attacking Seoul or Guam or Tokyo or California or whatever because you are going to find yourself in a whole pile of shit and you will end up like the following people:
Warning: Some disturbing photos
Don't do it KJU. Nothing good will come of it and you and your wife will end up like the people above.